Article Added On: December 31, 2004 - over 3 years ago
Title: Calming the storm
Author: Thane Burnett
Publication: The Toronto Sun
Publication Date: January 01, 2004 - over 4 years ago
Faith Groups: Buddhist
Themes: Religion and society

Abstract: A Toronto Buddhist reverend, a native Sri Lankan who himself lost his friends and relatives, sat and listened for four hours to a distraught local woman who may have lost more than 200 of her relatives to the tsunami disaster in South Asia, writes Thane Burnett of the Toronto Sun. "It is to live in the moment. You can't be considered to be living, unless you live at the moment ... to contribute something, so that maybe someone will survive another year. That is living," the stoic priest is quoted as saying. The disaster has given spiritual leaders in Canada the chance to put the power of their convictions to the test.

December 31, 2004

A disaster of biblical proportion has tested the spirit for some, while pushing others to unprecedented feats of compassion.

From a Buddhist reverend who's held his own silence and fears to better help others, to a brave Toronto woman -- who, in five minutes, may have lost 260 of her relatives -- but refuses to grieve for her dead, without first helping the living. They are both towers of amazing strength.

As a Buddhist monk, Upananda Dedunupitiye must remain stable and unmoved. His teachings and his discipline demand quiet composure. Clear thought. True focus.

"It is to live in the moment," the stoic priest -- hands cupped in front of him -- explained to me yesterday.

With some of his own friends and relatives lost, in question or still in peril back in his native Sri Lanka, the Toronto spiritual leader sat and listened this week to a distraught local woman whose family members were found dead after South Asia's tsunami disaster.

"For four hours, I listened to her," Dedunupitiye said from Scarborough's Maha Vihara Buddhist Centre -- as a frantic community relief effort swirled around his dark robes. "I let her go on, until there was nothing more to say -- no more emotion left to come out.

"At those times, it is not my place to become emotional."

But then, there was a slight, awkward pause from the reverend who lost members of his extended family, as he noted: "Sometimes ... that is difficult. Trying to separate (your own fears and concerns). But that is what we must do."

The disaster has given spiritual leaders like Dedunupitiye, the chance to put the power of their convictions to the test.

To discover if the hallowed words ring true along the seemingly endless line of grieving families who are looking for answers or direction from local churches and temples.

"We tell them about beauty and impermanence ... change is constant," he explained.

Sometimes, the degree of loss is enough to test even a Buddhist harbinger's gentle words of perspective.

Yesterday, 42-year-old mom of four, Priyani Suwandaratne, worked side-by-side with the monks of the Buddhist centre, filling cardboard boxes with donated clothes and canned goods and bottled water. All destined for the living. But as far as she can tell, all of her own family -- on her mother's side -- were lost when their small coastal Sri Lanka town, south of Colombo, was swallowed by waves last Sunday.

By her count, 260 of her kin -- uncles, aunts, cousins and beyond -- are unaccounted for. The town was swept away.

"Her family tree is huge ... it is devastating," explained the Buddhist priest in a quiet tone.

Suwandaratne has gotten reports from the area, that corpses are being pulled from the mud, in pieces.

"They stand in rows -- half buried," she explained, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Like ghosts ... just standing there."

She immigrated to Canada with her children four years ago. At Christmas, the family would usually gather from across Sri Lanka to the coastal village, to celebrate by the water. It's where she would have been, if she hadn't come to this country to start a new life. A Roman Catholic, her Christmas celebration in this country turned into a mourning service. It will continue into the New Year. The images of faces, forever gone, would paralyze some people. But she works on.

"I never thought there was a chance I wouldn't see them again," she said. "But I can't just do nothing."

Unable to simply sit at home and watch the looping news reports -- phone calls back home simply get a click, then nothing at all -- Suwandaratne has laboured at the Buddhist meditation centre, to ship donations to survivors.

The facility -- torontomahavihara.com -- has collected almost $50,000 in donations, destined for a non-sectarian charity in Sri Lanka.

"People from all (walks of life) are giving," reverend Dedunupitiye noted. "Human feelings are universal."

The need to help the living, while faced with the dead, is also a valuable lesson, he told Suwandaratne, as she worked.

"You can't be considered to be living, unless you live at the moment ... to contribute something, so that maybe someone will survive another year. That is living," he told her.

A spiritual man of conscience, counselling a woman unwilling to give in to the death of possibly half of her family tree.

It was difficult to know which was more inspirational.